have (a reindeer) heart and be brave.

so I think I had separation anxiety. cried a little, slept half the day away yesterday and felt so much better. I've been having nightmares though and the beds in Scandinavian countries are really terrible. soft beds and pillows are the worst. the best we had were in vogafjos cowshed hotel but the lamb was such a disappointment to my surname. so yeah. mehhh

I did manage to do mushing, best decision, even though we flew out of the sleigh. met this bunch of lovely ladies from the "tourism board" only to find out today that they work at SIIDA, the sami museum. we had a good laugh about the fact that I'm still alive so yeah. the 5 euros feed n photo of reindeers behind the museum were such a downer though. pfft

I do feel that my life after I've met a partner has hit a stagnant phase. I fuss more about my partner than myself. I don't reflect about what I could have done better as often and maybe I unknowingly take it out on my partner because he's always there to take the emotional blows. I do question his judgement instead of looking at my own. I've always felt like I was better. maybe now there's one person less to tell me what to do, I could think about how I could've done better without being demeaning. it was very strange though that e nightmares I had was all those latent anger that I felt about my in laws ever since the wedding.

I don't really know what to do with my life next. I have been thinking a lot of what has been said or done during the trip. I guess now's a good time to reflect and then work towards more self awareness before this trip ends. =)