i'm ready.

It’s been six months since the touched down. 

Ive gotten sun burnt, ive celebrated cny, ive started work, ive reunited with people who are important to me. Xs asked if ive changed and if ive a stronger yearning for a different life beyond this island. 

I guess i have changed but instead of feeling empty, ive now a stronger belief that life has so much possibilities. Im less worried abt failing, im confident that i can dream again and look forward to the next big adventure. Ive proven to myself that it is possible to leave everything behind where others cannot. Even though life’s abit more different now that i no longer live out of the rucksack, i dont think i can ever forget the feeling of being alone and in peace and i shall strive again to go back to that serenity. 

i do not miss travelling for now surprisingly. the flashbacks give me a sense of peace and accomplishment. it's a journey that i took alone and it has taught me so much about who and what i am and who and what i can live without. 

bring it on life. i'm ready to continue living. =) 

home

i get reminded of how much different the world is out there through the little things

terribly hot and humid weather

tonnes of plastic bag given while grocery shopping

lots of leafy veggies

cod fish is not icelandic/ greenlandic cod fish

very bad english

singlish

getting called aunty

regardless, it's good to be home.

about greenland

greenland had been the most unexpected and unplanned trip of all and yet has been the most memorable one for me so far. i've had many "first"s there when it came to nature and animal spotting.

i never knew that it was closely tied to iceland nor that icelandic people have been setting up business in different parts of the town.

i've heard much about the alcoholism but did not witness it in the capitals nor the touristy towns. it was sad that there did not seem to be much successful locally runned business. if you were visiting the west coast of greenland, it was either blue ice cafe or narsaq hotel or some spanish youth hostel that stefan and his icelandic hotel friend did not seem to have a liking for.

i still feel bad that i technically didnt pay the full amount due to the confusion of the room assignment. i had initially asked for a shared room but because stefan requested for a room as i had to leave one day earlier, i was apparently given a private room that was twice or three times the price. 

i never knew what self subsistence farming meant till we watched fish tv on the first and subsequent days where a huge disturbance in the radar meant we would practically be fishing up a bucketful of cod. and the cod liver and cod fish cheeks were absolutely delish. and how a stefan, a reindeer farmer could cook cod so absolutely well that it was on our repeat request list. maybe cus icelandic people just cook fish well self subsistencealso meant tt we cld just hike out in the wild and grab a bunch of leaves and use them for tea, or hygiene sanitary products or even for cooking. angelica was heavily featured in our meals and i loved the herby taste of it, only to find out tt the chinese use the dried roots for soup aka dang gui. 

i learnt about icelandic fish sauce which comprised only of lots of butter and onions. the faroese people cooked it as well for the fried cod cheeks. MUCH CRAVINGS for the fish cheeks.

i also regret not joining stefan for his fisherman friend's birthday party which involved seagull eggs and lots of cakes.

the boat/cruise to illulisat was memorable. illulisat itself was a gem. it was bergs and whales, everywhere, everyday. and the absolute silence just a short walk out of the city centre is very healing.

fisherman leave their nets on random rocks where currents meet as there is where it has the highest concentration of fish - usually cod or char. i wldve thought things left in the wild meant anyone cldve taken it but everyone's honest enough not to. seems the same in the faroese too.

greenlanders also hunt for mink whales, seals and musks ox with no specific future planning in mind and this has caused the numbers of these animals in the wild to drop drastically. i'm not sure if it is because food is scarce and hunting is free. but it would seem like a better idea if they stuck to fishing instead of hunting recklessly.

anyway, enough of random listing of facts. terrible at writing stories. XD

love

i wanted to write a post about how love is a self constructed lie.

how we both probably are loving the lie of someone around, that we are afraid of being alone so we find someone to love

but today as we fought, and i cried, i stopped when i saw two cute figurines, i bought them for us, and then i continued to fight with u.

im still angry but i still love u and i still miss u.

maybe that is love.

How do you forgive

When we’re at the point where we had everything to lose
Time
We were running out of time
N yet the person u love chooses to throw the most valuable thing left between us all away

How do we forgive

Travel teaches tolerance

i've learnt 2 new words this week. niet and dah. i think it's russian. hahaha

i'm sitting here in my balcony staring at mount kazbegi with someone taking countless selfies on my right, kids screeching in the field in front of me and vacuum cleaning noises on my left. the grills on the balcony doesnt really help cus u dont feel cut off from the world, more like having a cell mate next to you.

suddenly missed my fullerton staycay alot. i think it was the best gift u've given me. =)

"Travel teaches tolerace"

That has been something on my mind recently. i've met terribly aggressive people who sends you weird fb messages and tries to hit on you, but i've also met people who are slightly strange but bothers you with their quirks. they claim they are spiritual, they make aunty jokes about your weight, or they insist that there is only 1 way to fold the sheets and go all "how could you not know cus EVERYBODY does it this way". and yet there are people who will still go hiking with them and still have fun. maybe they dont take everyone seriously. maybe they've met too many shit people to know that as long as u have a good heart, these little quirks doesnt matter. or maybe they're just lonely and need a buddy ie marriage of convenience.

i guess it's difficult to change who i am fundamentally, why suffer with someone whose quirks doesnt bring you joy. and then a few "friends" that u hate spending time with come to mind. but maybe in the working world, these skills would be much valuable. pretending that you like them, being more open minded, talking to people more and making an impression. not being afraid to owe favours like a beer, maybe it does get u somewhere :/

georgia tbilisi

2 days in im starting to get used to the weird and aggressive beggars around. the police presence still bothers me though.

i was pretty surprised tt quite a number of ppl donate to the beggars on the train. they go around screaming and shouting smthing in georgian and then walk through the train and people actually do give them coins. i've been alive for so long and i've barely given to people selling tissue :/ i dont know if this has anything to do with the guide saying that georgian people are a really hospitable bunch of people. but apparently, i've read that, and have the guide encourage us to knock on doors to go in and take photos in people's houses and get to know them. i still find this notion pretty strange.

e weather has been killing me really and going to a sulfur bath barely helps. would prolly try the thai massage tml since it's less than a minute's walk away. the eczema at my pits are killing meeeeeeeeeeee tooooo. 

looking forward to more good food tml =)